If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix ‘bim’ could be used to create new words that describe them:
Bimbabble – noises coming from a group of blondes
Bimbaffled – constant mental state of blondes
Bimbait – short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males
Bimbar – a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait
Bimbag – a blonde’s purse
Bimbrushes – essential equipment in a bimbag
Bimbastic surgeon – specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbeeper – special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes
Bimbellow – sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard
Bimbillion? – a blonde giving an estimate of anything
Bimblaze – the result of a blonde trying to cook
Bimblues – a blonde’s state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her
Bimboette – a young blonde
Bimbonese – language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else
Bimbonique behavior – airhead behavior, unique to blondes
Bimboozle – to fool a blonde
Bimbore – a blonde who uses “like” more than 10 times in a sentence
Bimbozo – another name for a blonde
Bimboron – a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes
Bimbrownie – a well-tanned blonde
Bimbrunette – a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is
Bimburden – blonde carrying too many bags at the mall
A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex. Her friend said, “Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” HellOOOooo,” answered the blonde. “They’re watch dogs!”
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
“Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”
What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex?
Locking the car door.
Why did the blonde keep failing her driver’s test?
Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?
She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.
What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
Divorcee’
Why can’t a blonde get a drivers license?
Because every time the instructor says “Let’s park” she jumps in the back seat.
What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Frosted Flakes.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables!
Why don’t blondes eat Jello?
They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
Because she blows the horn!
Why is a blonde like a door knob?
Because everybody gets a turn.
Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
Because she’s been laid all over the country.
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!
What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
She picks up her purse and goes home.
To a blonde, what is long and hard?
Grade 4.
What is the definition of gross ignorance?
144 blondes.
Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
Because at 69 they blow a rod…
What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it.
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.
Mommy, mommy, in class today we did ABC but I said “ABCDEF.” Is that because I am blonde?
Yes, dear that’s because you’re blonde.
Mommy, mommy, we counted one, two, three, but I counted one, two, three, four five, six. Is that because I’m blonde?
Yes, dear, it’s because you are blonde.
Mommy, mommy, everyone else in the class doesn’t even need a bra, but I wear a “C” cup. Is that because I’m blonde?
No, dear. It’s because you’re 22.
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie’s lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, “I will grant three wishes, one for each of you.”
The first said, “I wish I were smarter.”
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, “I wish I were smarter than she is.”
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, “I wish I were smarter than both of them!”
So, she became a man.
Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
To avoid the draft.
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
Because the can said “concentrate” on it.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs?
They don’t know the route.
Why do blondes work seven days a week?
So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying “Disney World Left!”
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said “Oh well!” and started driving back home.
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blonde.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.
How do you kill a blonde?
Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
No smoking.
What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
She grabs a bowl!
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, “I won a motor home! I won a motor home!”
The waitress runs over and argues, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!”
The blonde replies, “No. I won a motor home!”
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motor home because we didn’t have that as one of our prizes.”
Again the blonde says, “There is no mistake! I won a motor home!”
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”
Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was…
What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
An air bag.
Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs?
They don’t know the route.
Why do blondes work seven days a week?
So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What is foreplay for a blonde?
Thirty minutes of begging.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
You need a quarter to use the phone.
Only one person can use the phone at a time.
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
“It’s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.”
How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blonde.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
How does a blonde get pregnant?
And I thought blondes were dumb!
What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.
What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
One’s a phony buck.
What’s the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository.
Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
She was having sunny periods.
How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
When she farts, her knees bag.
What’s the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
Marriage.
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t. They’re born that way.
How do you paralyze a blonde from the neck down?
Marry her.
What’s the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.
Why do men like blonde jokes?
Because they can understand them.
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
Finger on chin-I don’t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
From dating blonde men.
But why do brunettes take the pill?
Wishful Thinking.
Why don’t blondes call 911 in an emergency?
They can’t remember the number.
She can’t find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
Air bubbles.
What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A waste.
What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
An air mattress.
What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
Two brunettes.
Why did they stop doing the “WAVE” at BYU?
Too many blondes were drowning.
Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
They’re mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
In case she locks the keys in her car.
If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?
The brunette — because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
What is the definition of gross ignorance?
144 blondes.
What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
Why is the blonde’s brain the size of a pea in the morning?
It swells at night.
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
Proofreading.
Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her ankles warm.
To keep her neck warm
How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
(I’ll tell you tomorrow.)
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
To keep from bruising their ears.
What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
Rebel without a clue.
What does “Bones” McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
“Space. The final frontier……”
How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
Just One… Boomer Esiason.
What’s brown and red and black and blue?
A brunette who’s told one too many blonde jokes.
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
She fell out of the tree.
What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A thought.
Why couldn’t the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
She didn’t know what ONE came first…
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
“Oh, it’s not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That’s disgusting!”
Why did the blonde fail her drivers license?
She wasn’t used to the front seat!
Why don’t they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school?
She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymenlick Maneuver.
How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
She sneezes.
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